Nothing is wrong with you. It's the crowd you're in, they are the problem. For the most part, people don't like to be around negative or down personalities, if this is what you're exhibiting, take a look in the mirror... smile and you'll see someone smiling back who likes you and thinks you're great. Now take that person out to the mall and just walk around. You don't have to talk to anyone, just smile, people will smile back and they will wonder what you're smiling about. Be happy to be able to breathe, smile and enjoy yourself. You don't need others but you'll find that they want to be with you, talk with you and strangers will just say hi. It's baby steps....

If every single person in your life has done you wrong, they all have only one thing in common: you.

Take an honest look at your relationships with your family, your friends, your coworkers, your lovers... how do you treat them? When you meet new people do you "just know" they won't like you and make it almost a self-fulfilling prophecy and make sure they don't like you?

You need to change your mindset and work with a professional on your anxiety issues. No one is completely unlikeable or unlovable by someone out there.

Find a dance class, preferably ballroom dancing

Seriously

It will get you out into a small group (so maybe your anxiety won't be too bad, you aren't expected to talk!), teach you a new skill, and open up opportunities to meet other people.

And, try to recognize that not "everyone" in your life has done you wrong. If that were true, you wouldn't have survived childhood. "There are no happy endings ... only happy people." It's an attitude.

Annapolis, there is nothing wrong with you--the issue is not what is wrong with you--it is how you are preceiving others when they interact with you--you are assuming how they feel and that might not be the case! You are looking at their behavior and making decisions that they feel one way or another and that is probably not even true--this is because you have a low self-esteem. You are probably a great person and have a lot to offer to the world. You need to work on your self esteem and feel better about yourself and then you can go out into the world and take your place in it...

first, you might want to read this great book called hope and help for your nerves to help you with your social anxiety...this book helped me speak in front of people and it also helped me get over anxiety attacks..it is by dr. clare weeks and you can find it here: http://amzn.to/hopeandhelp

Then i want you to work on how you speak to yourself inside your head...this is where we usually get our thoughts on the world, or on our selves and if that speaking is negative, it can really hurt us...people who have low self esteem call themselves names, or tell themselves they are stupid or ugly--and are generally hurtful to themselves--but, everyone has self doubt--and everyone questions their worth--what you have to do, is make a list of all the things you think about yourself on one side of the paper that are BAD--and then, even if you dont feel it--rewrite all those things into good things...

example

I am ugly..............I am a girl who has nice green eyes
I am fat.......I have nice long legs
I am stupid....I got a good grade on my science test
I cant swim....I make a great chocolate cake...

so, for EVERY bad thing you tell yourself, you need to write it down on the paper--and then, you have to come up with something that is good--it can be tiny--or big--but you have to "convert the thought" from bad to good...

the more you do this--the more you will notice your negative thoughts--and the more you tell yourself good stuff--the more aware you are of your own self-sabotage...when you start to feel better about yourself--you need to imagine situations where you are meeting new people or helping people and they are friendly and good to you--and you need to start EXPECTING that kind of fun and treatment...

many people in our lives hurt us--but not all people do--and if we expect the bad stuff thats what we usually get--

I am sure, you will be able to have good things in your life--if you try...best of luck!

There is probably nothing 'wrong' with you, but there might be something different about you that makes other people uncomfortable.

Do you have certain special interests that you like to talk about more frequently than the people around you are willing to listen? Do you have trouble keeping up with conversations, especially when there are multiple people involved or where there is a lot of non-verbal or body language happening? Do you struggle to maintain eye contact for appropriate amounts of time? Do you react emotionally in ways people don't understand or have to force yourself to portray your emotions in ways other people seem to expect? Are you more or less sensitive to some types of sensory stimulation than many of the people around you?

You haven't given much information, but if any of the above questions or situations like them seem familiar, you might want to do some reading about Asperger's Syndrome. About 1% of people, both children and adults have Asperger's, and a large portion of them aren't diagnosed until later in life. Asperger's is part of the autism spectrum; people who have Asperger's tend to have normal or above average intelligence, but are socially awkward and have trouble forming and maintaining friendships.

Asperger's Syndrome may not be what you have, if you have anything at all, but it's a good starting place to try to find out. And if you do have it, remember that it is not a defect, it's a difference. There are therapies and training techniques that can help people with Asperger's and other types of autism to adapt to societal behavioural norms, assuming that's what they want.

Best of luck!

Even though you feel and think that nobody ever really cared about you doesn't mean it's true. There may be people who actually do like you, and care a great deal about you, but find it difficult to communicate these feelings to you.

You mentioned that you get social anxiety when around other people. You could have a social communication problem, or a fear of social situations.

Since you have been suffering your entire life, I think it's time, at the age of thirty, to finally do something about your problem. There is help out there for you, but you must take the first step.

You sound as though you are an intelligent person, but intelligence does not necessarily guarantee good social relationships or frienships.

Perhaps you will be able to handle social interaction better if you have the necessary tools. A good psychologist, counselor, or even psychiatrist might be able to provide you with these much-needed tools.

There might even be a clinic in your area providing free or low-cost counseling.

Many people are shy and have social anxieties. You may be surprised to find everyone is shy to a certain degree. What most of us do is learn to overcome our shyness and find ways that help us relate to other people. Over time, it does get easier (practice makes perfect - or, at least makes you feel a little more comfortable).

It sounds like you may live at home and/or are surrounded by eople you have known for most of your life. Sometimes people that have known us for a long time can't accept the 'new' you or the adult you and you may need to surround yourself with other people who will accept you as you are.

Until you are ready to venture out of your current surroundings, please take the advice given above and seek professional counseling. It's time.

P.S. I wish you the best of luck, Annapolis 324. :)

Hi Annapolis324 - You have received a lot of good and valuable advice in these answers. Try really hard to have an open mind as you read them, and go back and re-read them until you feel that you really understand what each are trying to convey to you.

By the number of responses you have received, it is obvious people here would like to see you change the negative thoughts you are having about yourself into more positive ones so that you'll feel better about yourself.

Good luck to you!

It sounds like you are a normal insecure person who has problems talking to people - you sound like you are very shy - a little secret - so am I - so are many people on this world.

Focus on things you like and find groups on the web that like the same things - Webanswers is a great place to start - there are a lot of good people here that won't judge you for your looks, for the way you are - they'll accept you at face value.

Answer questions - ask questions and learn more about yourself and us.....

I agree with smiley , do the things you like , and enjoy yourself .
Doing something you like outside you home will expose
you to other people , but dont worry about being accepted , when they
see your having a good time , they will come around.

Make a list of what you want in life. On that list include whether you want to be social on a regular basis or whether you want just take it easy and be with a friend or two at a time. Also make a list of what you like about you and what you don't like. And yet another list on why you think people don't like you.

The idea behind these lists is that they serve like a type of exorcism, so to speak. You will find by just writing everything down it will give you a new perspective on your life. It also feels good to have an outlet for your feelings.

I get the impression that you are super nice and people abuse that niceness by taking what they want from you. That is sad. people can be so mean. One thing you need to remember: Don't show people that you believe nobody likes you. Unfortunately this will only open you up for further abuse. Instead accept who you are. Accept that you are the coolest person you know and hang that on your chest without becoming arrogant. Once you realise that only your validation of you matter, I promise you people will flock to you. Your sense of self is not dependant on other people's view of you. It never was.

Once you are comfortable with who you are, you will find that you like your own company more and when that happens, for some reason, other people also want a share of that pie. Just realise that your happiness isn't dependant on others, only yourself. It doesn't matter whether anyone like you or not. What is important is that you like yourself.

So, just look at your priorities and at what makes you happy and stick to that. Everything else will flow naturally. Nothing forced in this world can flourish continuously without burning out. Just remember that.

There are a lot of good answers here so instead of repeating them I am going to say this - Get some counseling. Just by reading your question, I could tell you need it badly. Not that you are crazy or anything like that - you need some guidance and you desperately need to work on your self esteem and self image. And, chances are, your counselor will like you. After that, get into some group sessions. Everyone has something going on in their lives and they can not always deal with it on their own. Individual and group counseling provide a great outlet for overcoming these difficulties and will get you used to being around people in a more positive atmosphere.

I wish you all the luck in the world and remember this too - Life does not end at 30 - it is just the beginning of a wonderful, and sometimes exciting, adventure. YOUR job is to get out there and enjoy the ride and live your life to its fullest! :-)

Find new people to be around. They sound horrid.

People can tell if you have low self esteem. That looks like it might be what your problem is. Work on that, and you should start being able to make friends, who will treat you right. Ignore family members and other people who treat you badly. You don't need them in your life. Good luck.

Hi, first I am so sorry you are feeling so many insecurities. Since you used the word pretty, I am assuming you are a woman. The most attractive thing about a woman is her level of confidence. My dad use to tell mve me to look in the mirror, and tell myself I am the smartest most attratctive woman, and people are lucky to know me, and men are fortuante to date me. I use this advice, and although I have never considered myself gorgeous, it has helped with my level of confidence. When people feel that energy, they want to engage with you, want to hear what you have to say, because of your delivery. You can use this successfully, without putting on airs, and just be a better version of YOU! One last thing, my dad always told me to know a little bit about everything: sports, politics, economy, etc, so you can contribute to any discussion. If you do not know enough about the discussion, ask questions to make the other person aware you are interested in what they have to say, do not interrupt, give opinions without crticizing theirs, and use their first name when possible. I hope this helps, keep you chin up, and put your best foot forward, life is not meant to live alone!